E.L.F. From Branson

Creeping

2012-01-25T18:40:00.000-08:00

Another place, again. Less anger, more confusion. People claiming to be friends. They hiss at each other.

Seeing more sides all the time, and it isn't helping, just making it harder to act. Maybe for the best, no point in permanent solutions when it's wrong. I feel like some weird prism, taking in more light, but it just bounces around instead of going on through to illuminate something.

Too many eyes in the walls, I think. Need to sleep more.

Tolerate/Suffer

2011-09-15T00:07:00.000-07:00

At what point does persistence become foolishness?  Is it where it's easier and closer to your goals to change, but can't be bothered?  Each day, I see people shoulder the same little burdens, over and over, getting angrier and angrier, when some simple actions would fix it.  But they won't try, they'll just keep at the same thing.

Is this what happens to all, to fear moving outside of your rut so much you'd rather watch it fill in around you?  I just  want that as I grow old, the ability to not live in fear, to change.

I say as I don't sleep through the night again.

Later, long ago

2011-08-07T10:59:00.000-07:00

Things change, but slowly, especially when you seem to labour against it without thinking. Another place, but the same, only more so. At least it's cheap, but that's because of the crime, or at least the rumours of it. They won't do anything to change it though. Are they afraid, or just don't see it as they're responsibility?
something else
At least I am figuring out why we fail. It's the narrowness. To see only dots and numbers is to see nothing at all that you don't want to see, don't care to. One must engage to succeed. Nothing is taken in passing.
smash and grab
I don't want to be cold all the time. But I'm sick of the heat too.
And I need to be known for something...

Fresh Air Frozen

2011-02-23T12:38:00.000-08:00

I think it's in the air. A short whiff followed by a return to the normal February weather made everyone a little nuts. Gets on my back anyhow, and seems to be affecting others.

A little forewarning goes a long ways, even if there is something exciting happening. At least nothing broke, and I even remembered how to flick a switch.

It's Nothing, I Know

2011-01-03T14:53:00.000-08:00

Need the next day now, this one is going to long, the normal way is stretched and bad, it all keeps piling up.

Escapism, I think, at the heart of it. They're free but forced to not be free which makes them more free because they didn't choose it just did as they should sometimes you don't win you know just swallow your teeth. I know the popularity too many people who did what they thought was the only option only to watch the world boil over and drool at the burning but they can't smell the smoldering oil.

It's the little ants holding the colony together they hate it so much but they'll never leave and why should they there's a lot of feet and poison out there I just wish they knew they were there for a reason.
the echo there is me and you
Better than running away to the garage I suppose they make me pity I hate pity I hate it hate there are no more unknowns here don't pretend I can see the ski lift on the horizon I know what those matches are for I CAN SMELL IT TAKE A BATH GODDAMNIT

I need to go back I'm tired of memory and thought it won't leave me alone I have to go to it it's the only way I just wish it would make some effort too

its cold out here you now

Deep Quiet

2010-10-02T17:18:00.000-07:00

Hell, this thing is still here?

The last while has been frying pan to ashes. Just a bitter taste left, the odd reminder, lumps every now and again.
they want pets
Need to find a new place to sit, I sick of feeling the walls staring, at least they aren't blank, not all of them, don't have to post the scratched newspaper to calm down.

Sick of burying my scat, but the alternative isn't great either. A time for angry sounds, but that isn't so bad, there's a time. Good time to clear things off. Get things done.

Hope I come back.

Bright in a Hollow Sky

2010-07-27T06:00:00.000-07:00

It's mostly about staying upbeat now. Dealing with narcissism and power trips. Small business owners are going out of business for a reason, mostly to do with being sociopathic assholes as it turns out. Give a good chunk of money to a redneck and watch the mean streak come out.

Gotta keep going. If I become them, they win. I don't the people who got kicked, I just don't want to smell them. Wish they'd read the instructions, but then I wouldn't get paid.

At least the fat, oily men are gone. Don't need to hear about his new shoes no more. Now it's back to typing and scolding. I hope I remember. Everyone seems to forget to get bigger, it's annoying. All I want is the capacity to feel empathy.

Back to filling tanks.

Foggy

2010-06-22T16:07:00.000-07:00

Long road, good road, tired of the same damn sound though, I feel like buying a mortgage now.
Filled with tired, but starting to get with it, getting better, or at least not hitting the big red button like the others. That wasn't clever neither was the styrofoam but that can be fixed later.

Wandering around wasn't too bad, little gravelly but not bad. Very fuzzy.

Someday I'll learn to think in two places at once. It'll be glorious and they'll stop yelling at me.

Everything buzzes.

Misanthropy Run Through a Filter

2010-04-27T15:21:00.000-07:00

I think baby strollers were designed with passive aggressive parents in mind. User correctly, they're a way of moving one's kids around without having to lug them. used every other way, it a great obstacle, blocking all traffic around it, and is stunningly effective at hitting people in the Achilles tendon. And who would dare complain?

Or maybe I'm just projecting. The menthol fumes are getting to me, that's it. Or being honked at for daring to be a pedestrian.

Blah, I need to hit the pavement harder.

Who Cares Less About Your Dreams?

2010-04-18T05:27:00.000-07:00

Had a nightmare last night, first in a while.
everybody
Went to a public pool, a bunch of bodies under the water while others stood at the sides, trying to figure out what was happening. Every now and again the water would turn green and then flash red, and anyone in the water would sink immediately to the bottom and stop moving.

I jumped in to try and pull someone out. I immediately felt dozens of unseen hands pushing me down. One solid movement, no breaks in effort or unsteadiness, all pushing down. I managed to get my hands above the water, but no one helped, no one tried to grab me.

I started to panic, as I couldn't breathe and I was starting to falter against the pushing. Then there was a flash, and I could breathe again.

And then I woke up.

Squeeze It

2010-04-12T20:07:00.001-07:00

Blah, need to get some blood back down to the basement, making me feel tired and apathetic. Or maybe it's just the hamster wheel. Could order some pizza, but it smells odd.

Interrupted, again, in my cycle. Don't need to hear about the raccoon that walks like a man with red shorts, just want to walk.

Dumb, dumb. Just accept it's the same thing as always, just different. I don't want or need to bring a pipe to work.

Let's get ready for auction. And talking.

Carpe Diem

2010-03-25T09:40:00.000-07:00

I guess it's perceived as a threat, in a sort of reptile brain way. A basic attempt to change the social order to a sort where they would be inferior to some woman who got around more than they did.

She needs to learn to be alone. Better that then go back to the glare, the threats of assault. A user, all of them.
i feel dry
Maybe it's the vine in the house, drying and evaporating all around us. Too much DMT in the air, the machine elves are chewing away at us. At least I notice it, for now.

A monopoly is where only one person in town as the means of lowering and raising goods up and down the barricade with their device. They can charge exorbitant to ferry goods. Also, carnival workers were discriminated against by farmers, so only a carnie that committed fraud would have the money to buy the overpriced beans to add to their basic chili ration.

Sentinel

2010-03-21T15:04:00.000-07:00

They're not as smart as they think they are, and I'm not as stupid as they think I am.

I feel like hurting something, or maybe just sleeping.

Spanner Tree

2010-03-17T19:31:00.000-07:00

Gotta move my stuff around, but I don't care because it's something, anything at all as proof I was once cooled by the breeze.

Better not let is hamper the gristle search, because by God I need it. More than the period of rest, certainly.

Probably best we brush our teeth and hit the hay for a few hours. That would be the bee's knees.

Ibuacid

2010-03-09T07:33:00.000-08:00

Feels like bits and pieces just started to let go and leak, can practically hear shit just sloshing around in my skull. Glad to have the tolerance come up, maybe a bit of raw fish would be a good reward. Too much oil just turned it into marshmallow.
recover
The problem isn't that, the problem is the flashes, the dim little spots of lights, they're keeping me up at night because the ceiling catches fire and I have to stomp on the blue lights so my eyes won't hurt. A dollar and some vinyl helped a lot, I'll admit.
can't do this
You must review, because those who don't know they're history will be condemned to Viagra and mile long penises. don't need that, the manicure lady has enough problems at work, like inhaling all the keratin. Woo let's pretend like we know things. Ah hell with it let's put on some Scottish import cartoons and relax smells like microphone.
on my own
I don't think I ever will find them, but why stop now?

Dull Point

2010-03-01T11:54:00.000-08:00

Right behind the eyes I think.

Want to fill a bottle full of nickels and beat the shit out of a kid with a sneer, soften out the skull so it isn't so jagged.

Or maybe just chew some old cigarette butts outside of the Salvation army. Either way.

Loitering

2010-02-25T02:51:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I nearly convinced two people that the west coast had no time zone and existed in it's own little bubble.
i'll be the first in line
I used to think if I just waited a little while I could watch it all starve out, but now I know it's active, and so very desired. Perception is the enemy, we must dig holes, and I need a gopher.

Oh well, tomorrow will be busy. I waited and it sucks, but everything takes time and effort. Oh, and thinking positive thoughts st the universe, because obviously some dumb cargo cult god wants to to have stuff, but only if I clap real hard for it.
it better work this time
Critical thought is such an important resource. Maybe invade France to tap a supply. Or pottery barn. Or just start burning things. Woo.

Still So Gray

2010-02-17T13:17:00.000-08:00

I'm never going to stop hating this month, there's no color at all, it's sucked and kept for later, I want the color now.

Whistles are about what was and not what is. From birds to bullets to inmates, it's a sign of the past.

Subway rattles, but it doesn't smell like urine, so that's cool too bad about the talking a conversation is the domain of two or more people not just you.
dreams of dead thoughts
Blasted newspaper at least it keeps that guy warm I wonder if you could nestle behind the statue the marble is so damn cold I can feel it through my shoes. Maybe that's why I feel naked You can't grow a tree there let alone one made of pastry flour that's silly.
so hairy
Cat is more like a dog but it doesn't steal my socks so that's something maybe if I bang on the drum I can sleep and get rid of the purple I hate it I just want to go down and go away it's not dark enough but it usually is.

I need to figure out why the two are the same in different lights it's quite confusing and I can't find the stupid press maybe it's in a tree somewhere waiting for me to find it.

Someday I'll be king of the landfill and I'll lead them all to the bad victory and we'll eat the one's that life with a sneer they'll taste like nitrates and salt but still be so sweet and so soft like a wonder bread it costs 1.80 at the market but be priceless again when I find them eat eat eat eat.

The snows come at the flip it's only in the dry deep the injection won't pump because the molasses sits and stares and the hoses choke you must remember no one remembers because it doesn't help and the jokes get stale if you remember there's a reason we eat hot cuts with fake cheese because idiots have the real stuff and it turns to more methane ha ha it keeps going and going.

We are all josef soon hitting livestock with our face. All hail the cold dust and the hot mud hail.

Step in the Glass, Please

2010-01-17T18:33:00.000-08:00

Once more, despite the freshness, I find the same old stupidity repeated by people who refuse to learn. I wish they would simply saw the limb off then bleed to death. It'd be quieter anyways.

I also wish to express that most people can keep the minor disturbances up for more than 2 minutes. To sit her down and tell her most men can take a tropical vacation. But then I would have to be more than a castrated nerd who prefers drinking alone.

That had it's advantages though. Suppose I should have been around to explain the finer details of assault, but I'd still prefer to drink alone than that.

I need some fishing line to tie to them. I could keep it going longer than a weekend, I'm sure.

Coupling

2009-12-23T15:14:00.000-08:00

In the end, it's just another link in the chain, but it's relaxed now. Some major, if temporary, hurdles have been passed and the sentry is relaxed. Now I feel rather cutting. Time has come once again to burn some brush. I'd be lieing if I said I didn't look forward to it.

Some outside perspective has been odd. It's sort of odd to have the more negative aspects of my impulses and personality encouraged, but sometimes that's for the best. To release on elements that got too used to a lack of grind.

The time for a cleaning fire is at hand. I'm drumming the kerosene and feeling good.

Itchy

2009-12-05T19:36:00.000-08:00

I think they enjoy the back and forth, the tension. They'd feel like it was lying down and boring if they had a functional relationship. Or the sex is really good. God knows.

Can't afford another night out. Too bad. Good times despite itself. Except it's so blasted cold. Need a dedicated driver. Badly.

No one is here except us and our metals. And even they wear out.

Fire Engine Chrome

2009-11-23T18:57:00.000-08:00

It's nights like this one that brought me too it. Another good opportunity lost to a misunderstanding. What I forgot was the sensitivity, like everything else. Right on top now, and it's not horrible. The day was bad, but this doesn't just melt it but atomize it. It's all gone.

I know it's just branches, but getting a shovel is hard right now. And I could be part of that awkward conversation while the cubes are made.

No more booze though. I don't think that was a good idea.

Patterns

2009-11-18T17:49:00.000-08:00

I think it's in the wallpaper mostly. It's sad that dice don't roll for some people, but I guess that's just how it goes. The novelty has worn off of being a sheeple though, just because I don't wear mascara doesn't mean I don't know. I just don't care.

I suppose it's preferable, I'm just not sure how.

Gas Mask

2009-11-12T18:37:00.000-08:00

Oh God I hate body spray. Someone vomited outside and laid down a thick coat of the stuff nearby. Now my eyes burn.

Good distraction though, now I've stopped thinking of castrated people in boxes. Damn movies rotting my brains.
good though

A Gentle Knocking

2009-11-07T10:31:00.000-08:00

Just against the wall, a slow rhythm. Something's happening. I wonder who it's for. Stupid grass, so damn finicky.

I know it's mostly my fault. Bombing through dark suburbs at night because I can't stand being seen by those people isn't a healthy impulse. Neither is avoiding people you sort of know because they won't stop crying and wailing about life's injustices. Or maybe it is, I don't know. Which is the point, I guess; I don't know where social standards stop and begin.

I do know I feel like hitting people with no damn perspective.
"Waah, I'm being kicked out because I'm emotionally abusive to other tenants and have a narcissistic streak a mile wide! No, wait, it because my girlfriend is bitch. That's it. Woo, nearly had to think about that, there."
i just want to hurt them all, blood everywhere, flesh
It's confidence, I guess. To know that you're right and strong is attractive. Too bad restraint isn't nearly as useful.
hanging off in useless strips, taste it

Verbosity

2009-11-01T19:07:00.000-08:00

I find myself at a common place: the desire to talk but no real target. That's the whole point of this blog, not to inform but to stew quietly so I don't drive others mad. Perhaps that's the problem. Others are perfectly willing to drown me in World of Warcraft statistics until the letters "D", "P", and "S" lose all meaning, but unwilling to try and hash out my stupid, petty little obsessions because there's no way to grind Confused Ideology 101.

Mostly, I think it's the calmness. Most talking seems so emotional now. I just don't care enough. A while ago I watched a grown adult break down crying because a doctor misspoke some advice and immediately corrected himself, because obviously making a mistake means he doesn't care. Course, she yearned for the days of midwives in the salt of Poland, so whatever. They paint the cows blue to show a woman for marrying, you know.

This weekend was a fine example. Lots of screwed up things going on, but everyone is calm, and it's working out, instead of getting all chewed up by angry people.

Maybe it's just the hissing I don't like. The words come out all sharp when people are angry, screws things up. I can hear it through the walls.

We all need villains and fools, just ask the British.

Small Talk

2009-10-14T20:08:00.000-07:00

I guess it was rude. You're just never calm. Sometimes, I need quiet time to think out loud and eat beef jerky, and these weird tiffs you guys have aren't conductive to not being tweaked out.

Probably would have helped if I didn't hear. I try to sit and mind my own business, but no, everyone has to hear it. If only I didn't need citations.
viruses and flies we aren't special and the great dice roll sixes eventually

Wane

2009-09-17T17:49:00.001-07:00

Of course it went away. Heck, those cookies that we're on the doorknob did. Oh well. I should go find a use for that map.

Mood Swing to Stupid

2009-09-15T09:35:00.000-07:00

I wish I could say these sudden turns into doubt we're brought about by something significant, but they never are. Yesterday, my new landlord figured out I was having a smoke and threatened to throw me out after a week of living here. From there came, the last 16 hours of sudden despair.

For whatever reason, it all just pissed me off. I'm angry he wasn't directly confrontational, I'm angry I was caught, I was angry that I got angry getting caught. Just a big circle of dumb. Everyone else who lives here strikes me as very...optimistic, I suppose. Still young, or at least younger in mind than me, still somewhat idealistic, still believing in higher powers. They believe 9/11 was an inside job, that they have encountered numerous ghosts, that sort of thing.

And it makes me realize I'm just different from these people. They way they have it arranged, they have a family situation as a way of dealing with the loneliness of being away from home, a situation that seems utterly alien to me. I'm fairly happy chugging away on my own, while they are quite a bit more social. I'm confused and paranoid being around people who want to know me, and they see me as an aloof bastard.

And I suppose that is the crux of it. I feel like a bad or damaged person for not getting it, for being able to read the little rules. I understand courtesy and have contributed to public tasks like the dishes, garbage, that sort of thing, but it will take a long time to get used to the little things, and I have trouble justifying the effort when I am happy doing my own thing.

On reflection, I'm definitely faulty when it comes to social activity. I was raised on a farm and didn't talk to other kids until school, and didn't really have friends until the 7th grade. Sure, I participated in sports and the likes, but I always pretty much just that; a live body to fill in an empty spot on the team.

In the end, all it is was a nic fit and a warning, but I'm still stuck with paranoia and unease, that future conversations will be hollow traps. Untrue, probably, but it just doesn't change the fact I can't stop reading between the lines.

I need to go back to the doctor, see if he can find something for social anxiety. Therapy would be nice, except they have proven themselves hollow. I really hate having this be self-sustaining.

Long Season

2009-08-26T07:02:00.000-07:00

Almost through the summer. The question is whether or not this will herald the end of that weird hanging feeling. Still paranoid, still oddly tense. Could just be the warmup before the instituitions spring back to life.

The next month will be on egg shells.

Going Quietly

2009-08-10T19:36:00.000-07:00

Got an empty chat window, want to talk, but I don't think I can keep a damn conversation going. It would help if the other end gave a shit, I suppose, but I'm getting good at holding up a one ended conversation at this point. It's tiresome, but I figure I've got a good ten years, maybe even 15 to 20 before that sort of thing gets toxic. Good practice, I suppose, until I bother to develop a personality.

The thing about the anti-depressants wasn't that they suppressed bad feelings and anxieties, they just helped me not care. Now, it's like muscle memory; the act of not caring is down pat, and I can keep repeating it. A steady diet of general store pharmaceuticals helps too, though the weird little shifts in balance are annoying.

It's a good time to not care too. Everything's been going off, like I've been on and on about. It seems like we're at the end of an era, where the thought of empathy for strangers becomes distasteful again, where comfort is temporary, or if it isn't, heavily guarded and very expensive. I suppose every generation is given to thinking this time, this time they are active is the big shit, the time of reckoning where past is discarded and the future takes root. As if things stopped and started and moved towards goals like that.

In the meantime, garbage still needs to be taken out, the frogs are all over the sidewalk, and I don't really want to hoist an AK for some fucking philosophy 101 wank. But it looks like everyone else is sick of trying to do this calmly, just screaming and waiting for shit to fly. Have they seen fighting, or just think it looks cool?
I was hanging out with others they we're able to identify models of assault rifles based of glances. All in movies and games, and all useless. Fights start with rocks, sticks and studded potatoes anyhow.

I'm not sure why I keep this log. No one reads it, and at best it will be used against me. I suppose it's just a record for myself, a far away place to keep thoughts. Hopefully it'll just stay that way. I talk a big game every now and again, but I'm not too keen on living in interesting times. I know I've got nothing coming I don't go for myself, and I think I know that the right way too, not some way that blows away in a stiff breeze.

I like taking the garbage out anyhow. Gives me a chance to sort shit out and lug it away, maybe grab some of the shit that settles around here in the gutters. It's sort of calming. But then, I like a lot of tedious processes. Why trade it for short violence?

It's the Little Things

2009-08-06T19:52:00.000-07:00

The lack of sleep and the build up of the next stage is throwing me off. I don't mind the end bits, it's everything else competing, oblivious to each other. My obliviousness doesn't help much either. I've taken to qualifiers to describe people with the same first names, since I don't know anyone's last name for some reason.

I think it's so I can't cast a spell on them, which makes sense after the toenail incident. My god, there were a lot of onion fried entrails that day, and well deserved they were.

DESTROY THEM ALL

2009-07-27T19:02:00.000-07:00

The problem is that temperature is the only universal conversation. That and comparative taste. The fact that everything tastes like chicken shuts down the second avenue. I don't like talking about rain anymore, but I need to talk with people. The non-mice running across the floor are starting to bug me.
damn if i had words got under my skin
Quick, construct an armor out of the blood of the weak to take your rightful place! You already know how!

Burying Rodents

2009-07-25T14:46:00.000-07:00

Damn thing cursed me. Still drying my stuff out from all that rain. At least the booze seems to keep it away, or at least this stuff does. Not really happy it's supporting Jamaica, but it was on sale at least, and sobriety is too much work.

At least there's some new muzak, tired of following stuff, but then I'm not a kid, so it doesn't matter. So tired of kids repeating it's the broadening of the sounds, the uptake in the treble, gets in my area and makes me angry.

The point is to not jump at the bait. Think about where it's coming from, then things can work out. Maybe it was good they called me while I was in the beer fridge, I was on edge. Until I got me that burger, damn Monterrey Jack is a good cheese. Should get some, try and perfect Mr. Crunchy again.

Hmm, I should go write something about checksums or protocol. That will help much more.

Clearer

2009-07-10T20:23:00.000-07:00

There, just a matter of time. The air cleared up, the stabbings dried up a bit, and the smell of pork and beer wafts through the air.

Always takes a bit of time to get rid of a weird time. Time and cornbread. Delicious cornbread.

Except now I need more corn bread.

It's like my eyes are connected to my shoulders

2009-07-06T18:36:00.000-07:00

I sure enjoy being kept on a short leash, now I feel like my skeleton is going to dissolve.
a bee bit my bottom
Sure enjoy prescription withdrawal.
now my bottom's big
Good thing I should be able to remain pissed and/or drugged up enough to avoid lighting stuff on fire.
Hopefully

CARRIER -#2079

2009-07-04T18:27:00.000-07:00

It's too stretchy, far too stretchy, far too stretchy, far too stretchy, but it doesn't smell like mould like mould and so I it's alright alrightalrightalright had to clean it all too dusty dusty everything left to sit and fall like sparrow that smells I don't like the smell at all I can still smell it when I sleep.

I crack the window but the barking gets in and it's too bright I can't see the wall when it happens because my pupils are too large and I can't see I think it's finally happened and I'm done but then I blink and it's a bit better each time and I feel better.

They are from up north north and they cleaned cleaned cleanedcleanedcleaned and it was good much better then the stupid fucking better then all the bottle brown and dark everywhere I try to get them all but they come back with butts in them and I go to throw them away too but they smell so bad so I have to take it to the place where I can't smell it and the raccoons got in and ate all the rubber serves them right why is the door always open open it's doesn't help the smoke never clears up away away away away I hate them hate them them them them them they'll never know know what it is why they're here just fuck and drink I want fuck and drink but I won't can't because I like it here because it's quiet and Ithe noise gets in to me and won't leave vibrating.

Ah much brighter that can be good or bad now it is good so tired of copy look need to see it right want to touch touch touch I need the leave the shell but it's my shell because it is so comfortable and I don't want to tapout or chug I just want to do and I need to stop it and stop the smoking and do else but the dog man won't be happy to see me twice I must leave before I want to leave.

Too many eyes looking at each other the panopticon was abandoned there is no hallway you merely have a small penis why do you have to be so mean I don't want it anymore give it back give it back giveitbackgiveitback. FUCK YOU.

The keyboard is hitting all the keys quickly and it drives me up the wall but at least it doesn't smell I should go take a shower maybe listen to old music that knew it's keyboard from long overuse that would be good orr maybe just hit this keyboard or talk to the changing one that stopped changing because that was a change.

RAWK RAWK IM A CHOC take that you fuzzy little poop ha ha ha taste.

Weird Summer

2009-07-03T19:28:00.000-07:00

I think it's the heat. The winter made everyone forget, hunker down too far, too close to the ground. Now it's warm again and everyone's going crazy. Making bad decisions, spurring odd behaviour, cutting down that little filter that slows you down.

Or they doped the water again, like '89. Fucking Cloverleaf. And why the hell do I smell copper everywhere I go? Is it already time?

Shit, I better go get some soup. Make some chains.

Stupid Comic Book Bullshit

2009-06-18T20:52:00.000-07:00

The old way seems best, just to let it pan out. Inaction seems a bad course, but sometimes all you can do is sit on the sidelines.

Hmm, I think someone tripped over a dog.

It's not even between the lines, it's just some other writing, hidden from view unless you know what to look for. Stenography is the act of hiding existing information, not just encrypting it. Don't need to be psychic, just need to know what the billboards and papers on the lampposts really mean.

Or just get a better boss.

Balderdash

2009-06-08T19:35:00.001-07:00

Just because no one reads it and I don't give a shit about updating doesn't mean it's abandoned. what nuttery!

Hallway

2009-06-07T09:05:00.000-07:00

The ceiling shook for most of last night apparently. I didn't hear it myself, or see the blue light. We think a table fell over, or was pushed.

They armoured the hallway. How sad. And with all those cables in the way. Best to just wait until the rain ends, and clear the stuff out.

To Yesterday

2009-06-01T18:45:00.000-07:00

The intensity of others gets to me. I wonder sometimes if I was ever so wound up and offputting. Probably. Still put people off, but at least I know why that is, even sort of like not having to exchange small talk with your average person.

It is a bit alarming that some people never really turn off, they always have some weird energy to them. You'd think booze would at least mute it for a while.

And they say pot never helped anyone.

Calming Down

2009-05-25T15:11:00.000-07:00

Odd that the temporary cut had the opposite effect, probably something to do with a rapidly changing environment and substituitions. Oh well, at least the damage wasn't too bad; even beneficial. Not often you see an Intellivision these days.
i'm actually canadian
I suppose the reason for the obfuscation is that although I like wailing into public, I don't like revealing anything. Too many people too close to my ticking. Hence the metaphors and broken arguments, I don't want people going backwards from it.

A public diary, missing the diary part. Also, the public part.

No I Can't Slap You No Five

2009-05-20T12:20:00.000-07:00

Damn bleach, everywhere. All I got against it is a tin box and some cheap stimulants.

Gonna fire up an interest through a hobby, show that damn bird whose boss with my alien shield. How do you like that!

Nuts to it, fire up some automaton and reflect.

Glint of Brown

2009-05-06T13:45:00.000-07:00

I guess it just finally bugged me enough to deal with. It was "Fuck You" scribbled on a wall, I grant you, but at least it's not right outside my door anymore, it's a bit longer to find.

Still took a week. I had to deal with the fact that I would be seen by people, neighbours, who if watching would find out I gave a shit.

Fortunately, no one cared then either. And now it's gone for a while.

I can shoot stuff and smoke in piece.

Pull

2009-05-05T19:20:00.000-07:00

I enter holding pattern. Not much else to say, just need to see what the paper needs.

Fingers.

Nail in Jelly

2009-05-03T16:38:00.000-07:00

DAMNIT, it's right behind my eyes. Like a safety pin or something. Damn pop, all I wanted was coke, not my optic nerves bugging out.

Alright, I admit! I indulged in conspicuous consumption! Are you happy now? All it was was electrons!

Oh, that does seem to have pleased you. Back to scaring people off.

Busy

2009-04-30T17:23:00.001-07:00

Damn, everything so moving and interesting, even the dark places seek up time at the touch. Someone has to care for rats and burnt bits.

Turns out the ship went out to see, took a bunch of remora with it. I hope it comes back. Maybe when North points true again.

Just because everything's coated in dirt doesn't mean you can just ignore it, it needs the most help. The metal is right, it just needs a bit of alignment, I just wish I could be out of the air and just on the ground.

I had a dream where I figured out you couldn't really fly, but with practice, you could glide, for a little while. I was quite disappointed I couldn't lift out of bed, but every now and again, I bounce a bit.

Damn, I could use a donut. I wonder if I can make one. I have grease and pancake dough. A little bit of jam or table syrup, and I'm rocking. Maybe a PBJ will do. They are good.

Bile

2009-04-15T17:21:00.001-07:00

It's hard to believe really.

How that much stupid can be amassed.

And that the Nuge would sing, and that a killer would be cheered.

It's not self defense if the person is unarmed, on their knees, and shot in the back.

Relief

2009-04-12T11:16:00.000-07:00

Almost at the end of my allotted time. I feel good about it. It's not that it's a bad period, it's just that I'm at the end of it, and looking forward to the next bit. Even if it will consist mainly of interacting with people who like cutting people.

Otherwise, I've found a bizarre little schism in my hobby. No middle ground, just two extremes. So odd to see.

Otherwise, just clearing out the bowels and the closet. Detergent and bran: two important components to Spring Cleaning. Well, that and not going crazy as the change in barometric pressure screws up the thought process.

Bad Air

2009-04-05T14:44:00.000-07:00

Spring fever is damn bad, this year. It gets into everyone, but differently. Some folks lose it, others just get short and pissy. Being dumb seems fairly universal.
feeling off
Just got to go outside and adjust. Get the pain out of your lungs. Once you're fully acclimatized, you'll be fine. You do need to do it soon though, the building air doesn't change much and you know it.

Just take a walk.

Relief

2009-03-17T12:09:00.000-07:00

Ah, a new modem and a colon full of bran buds.

This will be a good week.

Goo

2009-03-10T17:21:00.000-07:00

Can't breathe, can't think. It's the constant sound, it's tripped something bad the last couple days. Can't calm down right now, it's just too loud.

Everything is taking focus, it's mine, give it back.

Just let me do my thing in peace, it'll get done.

Conspiracy Time

2009-03-04T16:27:00.000-08:00

Top 40 Radio is actually a code. Each song represents a set message, one that though constant will jump to another song depending on timing. This timing is on a set schedule, desgined to give the appearence of changing with the market and the tastes of the public.

Played randomly, they have no meaning, but in a certain order, a message or command is broadcasted. The trick I haven't cracked is what means what, or who the audience is. Hell, it may even be subliminal.

Or maybe I'm just really sick of Lady GaGa and Nickelback.

Where Are The Big Scissors?

2009-03-01T17:02:00.000-08:00

Gotta flip the claendars over, might as well do this.

Minds been going sideways, it's like proximity just isn't right. Starting to do bad things they're all scared and angry. Tiring, just trying to relax but it's bad. I think it's the lysol and the caffiene, it's messing me up. Or maybe I'm just turning into an asshole. It's the people I work with, it rubs off when you can just scream cunt all the time and me giggled at.
here kitty kitty kitty
Just all toxic. I should apologize. Between the mood and the booze and standing off...

I miss them

Skipping

2009-02-16T16:08:00.000-08:00

The problem is...
The problem is...
The problem is...

The timing, they took it and now it's all wrong. Try to compensate, but it's just not quite as smooth. Tried to celebrate last night, but it was a double fault; I tried to keep up on energy and the atmosphere was messed up, confused. Went bad and sweated all night.

Lumps, stuck. Tired, sore. Have to spread it around. Take it.

Hack

2009-02-12T16:12:00.000-08:00

Damn colds. Damn things take weeks to get down to manageable. Still in constant medication stage. At least it's better than the sinus infection, I take comfort in not spewing blood everywhere.

We are down a house guest, which is nice. She wasn't a bad person, just had to walk on egg shells. I like being able to bathe whenever the heck, not to mention not watch American Idol. Holy shit, I didn't realize the population was quite that damn desperate. Idiocy is nothing new, but most of them honestly believe this is their one ticket, that it's more than a glorified lottery. It's hard to think about.

They all needed to die.

Flapping Yellow Valve

2009-02-05T18:21:00.000-08:00

What is there to say? I write here to get stupid thoughts out of my head, so I can continue on without that sort of stupid bullshit polluting my thinking.

But that's been pretty quiet lately. Now I just yell at people. Work has it's share of annoyances, but who wants to read that crap? Then again, no one reads this either, and that hasn't stopped me.

Today I threw out about 70 pounds of copper. Sort of annoying, but with prices way the hell down, what the hell else is there to do with 400 spare power cords and a 33.6 Kbs modem? Besides get them the fuck out of storage. Also, I really hate serial cable.

Just so everyone knows, hamsters have massive testicles. Probably something to do with being related to rats.

Little Much

2009-01-16T17:46:00.000-08:00

Today, a person with 8 years education forgot a 5 letter word she uses everyday. My, she was angry. Hated the Cow too.

My, people get insulted quick. A couple weeks on dial-up and they figure I'm ducking them.

Blast and Confound

2009-01-04T17:09:00.000-08:00

Ahhh, corn whiskey and dial-up internet as completely destroyed my ability to be narcissistic enough to write this bullshit. But now, there is a job, and plastics!

Start working at the hospital, it shall be full of sick people and infested computers! Tomorrow there shall be great inventory, and meatloaf to celebrate the return of feeling to my arm. Maybe I'll even get some strings!
holy god i'm filled with ants!
A quiet person has moved in, very small. Probably has weak bones too. And she brought soup! What incredible mysteries. She'll have problems showering in the morning though.

Remember, the authority is only as strong as your thresholds!

Relativity

2008-12-19T13:40:00.000-08:00

Saw a passing reference to porn addiction. Seems like a bit of a cop out. No one sucks dick for porn. The very most is you lose your job for not keeping it in your pants, and that's way the hell into "Need medication, now" territory. Maybe that's why people think it's easy getting off real stuff, it's like throwing out a stack of magazines or turning off a browser.

It's hard to watch them, it's like my failures as a person playing out in slow motion. Watching what I thought I knew be peeled away. like a band aid.

I hope their happy, but I also want to hit them. Maybe I should just stop looking, forget the last while, and leave a memory, stuck and perfect, if totally inaccessible. Given the circumstances, that seems prudent for now.

Comparison

2008-12-12T08:27:00.000-08:00

Last night, I was drunk, high, and stumbled home after midnight only to get up at 8 for events. Do you know why I still think my habits are less destructive then others?

I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING ACOUSTIC GUITAR I PLAY SHITILY WHENEVER I GET SO MUCH AS A SHOT OF VODKA DOWN.

GOD DAMN YOU GREEN DAY, I AM FUCKING SICK OF "GOOD RIDDANCE"!

Fuzzy

2008-12-11T12:06:00.000-08:00

They're always yelling, all the time. Do they really have so little hearing left that we all must hear? I'm tired of hearing shit.

The stew tastes like pity. That kid is going to grow up mean. Unless he likes peanut butter. Then things might turn out alright.

Huh, that's a lot of autistic kids.

Missing Bits

2008-12-07T13:59:00.000-08:00

It usually does turn out to be the little things that cause the biggest problems. Stuff you don't pay attention to normally short circuiting everything. Often times, it's just looking.

Kids, for instance. The bus stop is an eternal sociological experiment. Watching parents try to control their kids without actually paying attention. not even looking at them, maybe staring into the middle distance or a phone.

And then the older ones figure out that you're innocent if no one sees you. They never do get that's wrong though, no matter how times you get pitched out or thumped.

So seriously, expend the effort; look. Text can wait.

Damn Nutrients

2008-12-04T19:28:00.000-08:00

It starts to stick to me, and it's just another one of the 2AM bothers to gets wedged in. Always seeking the higher ground, the superior, leaves all this ash.

It's them, not it. Why is that so hard? Messed up anecdotes, the lot of it.

Need more sleep.

More Gaps

2008-12-01T10:29:00.000-08:00

Trying to talk to team mates, they're writing pisses me off so much I can't read it. The willful blindness to outside, the creation of memory through sheer will; it's so damn annoying.

It's so common too. Because it doesn't match their world, it can't happen. Since they suggested it, it must be. Why the hell am I considered the mental one, at least I can tell illusions from facts.

Picked up the garbage today. Some truck hit my recycling bin and spilled it everywhere. Hate seeing that, but it's all picked up now.
Got to keep it clean.

Tide

2008-11-27T07:43:00.000-08:00

I think this is it. Everything is turning. Shouldn't be too long now. Pity.

But then, all times must end. And who knows? It should better. Eventually.

...SORRY...OUT OF SERVICE...JINGLE BELLS...

2008-11-22T17:38:00.000-08:00

I believe it was Winston Chruchill who said, "You smell like you fucked 7 men in 6 hours, Ms. Astor." This is besides the point though.

I guess it's the final point on the horizon that appeals, I cease to doubt and the little niggling things, even if it does all glow dark. It's an intriguing goal, but an easy way. besides, it nice to feel the anxiety every now and again, especially now that I pretty much know how to turn it off. I just need to find a tide to turn back. it worked for Canute, it can work for me.

The trigger is the norm, caffeine, sugar, grease, and violence. Watching the righteous plow down their enemies always excites, it's just reigning it in. The key is restraint and thought, as always. I no longer harbour illusions there are many others who deal with it, just a few. Doesn't bother me too much.

It wish it didn't smell like wet pot in the halls, and I wish they'd shut up for a bit. Damn drums.

Paper Smear

2008-11-19T18:21:00.000-08:00

The problem is that I have no intention of forwarding the paper chase. The point is to reduce impediments not get new ones.

Everyone's going crazy from stress, losing more and more people each week to the spread. Between that and flu, can't get anything done on time or well. Fallout isn't helping wither, but need to blow off stress somewhere.

NEEDS THE DRUM FILL YEAH! BOOM DA YADDA!
just a few more weeks
That too.

Time to sleep

2008-11-17T10:23:00.000-08:00

The snow is down, at long last, and now I want to hibernate again. Long sleep at least as long as shoveling occurs. Back already hurts from the lack of practice shovelling the wet stuff.

Finally got back into hobbies, enough to get into sleep. I hate dreaming about it, waking up thinking I need some beans and a tarp.

Also, I need to find those people.

Plug

2008-11-13T11:28:00.000-08:00

It's back in my head, that damn electricity again, trying to wind me up. I have to focus on everything, I can hear the packing tape unwinding, the cars splashing through the street, the long distance screaming of children. I can't block it out. So I think that seal the next few hours hear until I can shake it all off. Bit off rum and a smoke should help.

I think the swan beater got stuck away. Moved up to larger game. I can't tell though, haven't bugged my authorities.

Have to calm down, but have to get some energy. It was GOOD for a while there, unambiguously. They wanted me around. Repeat, even if it means going back to ... that.

Ear worm

2008-11-08T16:48:00.001-08:00

The problem with the muzak playing over the PA system is that pop music isn't universally bad. If it was, it would be so much easier to ignore. But no, every now and again they play a catchy song. Because I don't pay attention, all I get is a fraction of the lyrics, or worst of all, the beat, and it gets stuck in my head.

Still happening right now, it's at least a little easier with the Internet, but before then, blargh. it literally has taken a decade to get certain songs out of the cobwebbed corners of my mind. One hit wonders are the bane of my pitiful existence.

Damned Olive.

Warm Rains

2008-11-04T19:36:00.000-08:00

The wet was too warm, brought out the frogs. Nearly tripping over the damned things walking around, poor little bastards are going to freeze.

Found a dead bird, broke itself on a window. Poor little guy was still warm, still had it's eyes. Very soft and very light. I moved him out of the way of the footpath, at least he won't be kicked.

I don't feel right.

Brain Boot

2008-11-02T15:11:00.000-08:00

Feel much better, cleaner almost. Got rid of those mental cobwebs stuck in the skull and just clamed down. I was tired of having a tight chest, and this helps. Still need to make some changes though...

Teachers correct mistakes. By correcting the mistake, the student will learn from the mistake. Although many possible variants exist, not correcting helps no one. You have to show them why it is wrong.

I'm also going to have to stop sleeping with the window open. Tired of waking up with a frozen ass. I also need some eggs.

Important Law News

2008-11-01T06:34:00.000-07:00

Just got through the legal system:
It is now a crime to dress up your cat or dog to make it "look cuter"

The punishment is stoning.

Other Places

2008-10-31T08:57:00.000-07:00

The family is worrisome. Parents changing more every time I phone them, attitude changing. Brother more so. Just retreating more and more into the Internet and card games, ignoring everything and getting angry whenever he's shaken out of it. Son of a bitch won't acknowledge the rest of the home, let alone the outside world.

Not even playing WoW.

Must download more

2008-10-26T11:53:00.000-07:00

Was down at that theatre when I realized that the party/victorious attitude that used to ascribed to college in films as been shifted to high school.

I try to tell myself that this is just a marketing move, it sells the movie to a wider base of people with money. It still bugs me though. High school has become the time when you party it up and meet all those cool people you deal with for the rest of your life, and the possibilities it entails are disturbing. College still has sex and drinking, but you're supposed to be part of the machine by then.

What I'm saying is, the best time of life no longer has legal drinking, just the joy of the most Byzantine social structure known to man and puberty. I'll stick to my borderline alcoholism, thanks.

More People Watching

2008-10-25T13:27:00.000-07:00

I was on the bus again in earshot of some teenaged girl going over the days gossip, when I noticed that she was out of breath talking so quickly. If she was just off the street it may of made sense, but she kept up this hurried tone for 5 to 10 mintues.

We're the events so important that she had to communicate it in a way that didn't let her breathe? They didn't sound that way, just the bric-a-brac of a dramatic woman's life. It was depressing, in a way.

I have my own issues of course. There are times when I just feel violent. Not angry, per se, I just feel like attacking the strangers around me as they walk by. I have no bone to pick with them, it's just an urge. What are they called, an intrusive thought? It goes away, if with a little push from the thinking juice, but still, it's a problem.

My life is far from bad, so where is this anger coming from? Is it just frustrations from the everyday building up for the lack of outlet? Am I going to punch someone because two weeks prior someone couldn't decide between coffee and tea?

Need to get out tonight. No excuses, even if the movie theatre is looking a little dire. Go out to some loud club and troll the drunk blonds or something. My coworkers talk about their adventures and I feel like I'm going to be thrown into a volcano to please the spirits.

New Copper Taste

2008-10-22T17:27:00.000-07:00

The tooth poker had me in a compromised position. The reason my gums bleed is because of the sharp metal bits you're shoving into them. I will give you that though, that is more blood than normal. I'm starting to think that my teeth are like the underside of an old car, protected from the elements by all dirt encrusted on them. It's too bad I can't fill the holes with toothpaste like the walls in my apartment.

The problem with fixing things is that it's rare to straight-up fix something, it usually has to be coaxed back into working. There is so much of my crap that has to be just jiggled into working, and it can be a very long process. At least it's getting to the point where none working stuff can be recycled when you just don't have time, but still...

There are parts of TV I miss, and parts I don't. If I could just rig up a constant playlist of Simpsons on the telly for a while, I think that would be great. For instance, my folks watch TLC a lot, and watching that is like having my teeth scraped. Well, better than that, there isn't quite as much whining. These young couple are annoying though. Chirst, just stop spending your money on stupid shit. Or at least expensive stupid shit.

Gotta break the conditioning, have to find the route. Where is it? Queen Victoria. Or the idea of her. Crap. Frig, she ordered around Jack the Ripper too, she'll be hard.

The problem is that I'm pretty sure you can all read me, but don't talk about it. It would be like declaring the sky is blue, useless to all but the blind, who don't understand it anyways. I try to build a wall, but the base of the skull is the hardest, it takes a little bit more concentration to cover. I wonder if it helps at all. I don't want them in my head, bait thoughts are hard to maintain, and I don't like having that rotting corpse at the top anyhow.

No more recording, I was not cut out for visual radio.

BLARG MY MUSIC IS THE ONLY GOOD MUSIC

2008-10-17T19:37:00.000-07:00

Genie in a Bottle followed by that fucking Nickelback song about being famous. That had better be a radio, because if that's some sort of purposely mix, they've crossed over homosexuality into some bizarro-heterosexuality where they inverse their penis and have the woman...I CANT FINISH THE SHITTING METAPHOR FUCK
FUCKING SLEEP WHERE ARE YOU GO AWAY SMELLY
GODZILLA STOMPING
-carrier lost-

Feeling like a million bucks...

2008-10-15T16:09:00.000-07:00

Severely devalued.

Damnation, the fall plague has started up and has spread like wild fire. I have enough problems stuffing my bowels back in, and now this.

Boy, I'm really up for some fiddle playing. Anyone have a boat I can borrow? The breeze here is no good at all and I need a good wind at my back.

Holy shit, donairs are awesome. I should have one soon.

Citrus Flavoured for Her Pleasure

2008-10-08T18:03:00.000-07:00

Damn lemons, hurting my cut up mouth. Need the citrus though, I need these teeth. For teething.

Well shit, how else are you gonna get documents on a sheet? Oh, planets and shit...that isn't an overhead projector. It a space projector, or whatever. They cool.

Mike Oldfield says we don't know enough about shapes. Well, I'll show him. Cocky son of a bitch.

Exponential

2008-10-04T11:55:00.001-07:00

After so long, you would think our race would move away from the fundamentals that govern bacteria, but this replication to the point of correction doesn't work when resources are essentially finite, especially when they are in fact people that you would rather not watch starve en masse.

Things are relatively good, with a large amount of the breeding population able to survive and breed. However, this is taken by too many to be ever-lasting, creating offspring faster than resources can be found. This mentality must be abandoned to prevent disaster.

Ugh, where the hell did that come from? Why the hell are all my intrusive thoughts this shit instead of stuff like "Peanut butter is great" or "Women are attractive"?

Damn it

2008-10-02T13:44:00.000-07:00

Great, I get to start October going cold turkey of an addictive substance. Just fucking great. And all because someone doesn't know how to use a fax. Or book an appointment.

I need a new drug dealer. Or a scalpel. This damn lump of flesh isn't doing me any good.

At least I don't have to worry about that volunteer job, I'll have enough problems walking, let alone being charismatic.

And I'm all out of good booze too.

Milk Thought

2008-09-30T19:29:00.000-07:00

While drinking milk and going over pictures of body-modders, a thought occurred. Being judged by an authority is basically everyone's first fear. Being found unworthy goes back to being a kid, with your parents standing watch over your actions. Everyone remembers being terrified of a punishment for an action that was, in retrospect, really nothing.

Is that the drive? A fear of an arch-arbitrator holding you and deciding?

That's it, no more Blood Meridian, it's getting into my head.

Reactions

2008-09-26T19:00:00.001-07:00

How much blood must chase blood?
Kissinger is a fucking war criminal, fuck him.

Paranoia Redux

2008-09-26T14:52:00.000-07:00

Ah, damnit, everything is shifting. Can't find my stuff...it was right there...wait, no, it's 60 miles away. I could swear I had it in my hand a minute ago. Goddamn it, what's up with my memory? Everything going weird today. Should have a drink, our body is against us today. Just relax, put on duckman, and stay away from reality until this voodoo passes on. Maybe read a bit, assuming the book won't burst into flame.

*puts away lighter*

Now we'll see if that fucking pope is in this. I can see his hat going by the window, oh he thinks he's so sneaky. I'll show him.

Stranger in an Annoying Land

2008-09-23T16:25:00.000-07:00

My main quarrel with business language is that it doesn't really justify itself; the only reason it is perpuated is that one must learn it to understand those that we're taught it to understand their predecessors, and so forth. All in an attempt to remove shadow from their words and not get sued. Perhaps an admirable goal, but it's so far up it's own ass that it is prohibiting action that it was supposed to streamline.

Status reports, committees and meetings dedicated to them, meeting about how to run those meetings, regulations for the conduct and process of the meetings, meeting deciding those regulations...they get in the way, wear people out.

The self-congratulatory way these project runners conduct themselves is also annoying. Like we would never get anything done without the processes, that waste would dominate all, entropy prevailing over all. Chaos creates; static process never adapts.

Sure, it helps remove the failures, but it cuts down on the other end too. Excess results in interesting things, not always good, but not always bad. These identical results might be good for prediction and risk management, but advance has never been about uniform results.

Alright, enough snowflake bullshit. I have shit to do. Take it away, Funky. time is too expensive

Bad Habits

2008-09-23T09:33:00.000-07:00

I've been using the Internet for a good long time, but I still occasionally enter English phrases into the search bar. It's a bit embarrasing to have stuff like "Yo, fuck centipedes" or "When did chicken get expensive" in there.

To be fair though, not nearly enough people hate centipedes as much as they should. The creepy fuckers have a taste for blood.

Interference

2008-09-21T18:32:00.000-07:00

You see: Combover Pony
>give sugarcube
You feed the combover pony some sugarcubes. You gain a new fan!
>fuck yeah
Damn straight.
>pet combover pony
Who's a fuzzy? You are!
>n
You find yourself back in the pit of eternal annoyance.
>use pony on fluorescent light
The pony relieves your suffering by eating the light, as all ponies are want to do. A hole appears in Tony Curtis.
Save Game (Y/N)?

Short

2008-09-19T12:10:00.000-07:00

NOT NEARLY ENOUGH NORWEIGAN HIPHOP!
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!
BASELINE!

Because I feel too good

2008-09-18T13:37:00.001-07:00

Although my current must-see TV list is somewhat mashed together due to technical issues, it occurs to me that I'm tired of people telling me I just have to see some horrific act performed in some damn horror movie. So I think I'll top it, once and for all, and download the three movies that will forever take away any shock I can feel.

Those movies are:
1. Cannibal Holocaust - the classic "documentary"
2. Salo - Re-released for those of us on a budget
3. Swap.avi - just to see if I can join the illustrious ranks of those that can make it through the movie; I already doubt it.

If I successfully make it through all three, then there is no Hostel or Saw that I will ever need to see again just because "this dude totally gets XXXXXXXXX done to his YYYYYYYYY", because I'll have already seen worse, and I will have seen it done to women and children.

Now that's efficiency.

Wanking

2008-09-15T16:23:00.000-07:00

Not much nowadays, just listening to the old Pink Floyd collection and fiddling with an old computer. Looks like they just gave an old computer to some kid so they could chat on it. Pretty smart, if a little depressing that that is all that happened on it. Oh well.

I suppose the chance of them having a reunion we're basically nil once Waters went into full on asshole mode, but eh, a couple sets would have been nice. Oh well, still plenty of B-sides and soundtracks I haven't run into the ground, not to mention that I haven't given Barrett's stuff a good shake yet.

Burned off the Big Lebowski for a friend. A crime he hasn't seen it. I couldn't allow such a thing to stand.

WE INTERUPT THIS IMPORTANT PROGRAM

2008-09-11T15:12:00.000-07:00

So the LHC fired up and everyone thinks it went off alright, but I know the truth. go check a golf ball, it's all in the open. Now they have 257 dimples.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN???

you will see such marvelous things

Shoopy

2008-09-08T08:22:00.000-07:00

Finally got sane roommates, people who realize the next day comes early, and that food tends to rot when left in a hot garage for weeks. That'll be something.

Stole a grocery cart the other day. going to load it up with old computer waste and take it to the scrapper. It'll be a couple miles, but shouldn't be too bad. The main problem will be going along a main road. I'm going look like the world's most battle ready hobo, or like I'm warcarting.

Man, I haven't done a hidden text in forever. I should invisible a bunch of keywords of my resume. Teach them to just grep shit.

CHANGE PLACES

2008-09-04T07:17:00.000-07:00

*note: slight change of pace*
TIME TO GO DRINK SOME SUNSHINE!!!!
Boy, everything is filled with cotton fuzz today!
Maybe some ice cream! Yeah!!! YEAH!!!!
*back to regular schedule*

Whilst Stomping

2008-09-03T06:34:00.000-07:00

It's kind of a sad comment that 8-6 is becoming the 9-5 cushiness job. Things are getting fucked up.

It's like the brief years in the 90s when wars we're localized and only killed a couple million at a time now need to be paid back with a new Cold War, except slightly more pointless and with even less chance of an end.

Except this time, I think the body count will be a bit larger. The pie is shrinking away quickly; I don't think charity can go much further now.

Point of Saturation

2008-08-29T12:13:00.000-07:00

Look, it's nothing malicious, but I've got to call it.

Hillary Clinton looks like a woman.

I don't know where you grew up, or how much television you watch, but she is feminine, she's just not a big looker. Either way, not guyish, not really. You ever really look at body/face types? She's not even close.

So seriously, enough with the lame jokes. Jay Leno ran them into the ground a decade ago, and you can't dig up. I don't even like her much, I'm just sick of hearing the same fucking joke. You need to look at more career orientated women outside of porn, they aren't really manish, and they don't eat balls.

Also, while I'm here, Muslims aren't known for the turbans, Sikhs are, and they haven't been violent for a while. An effeminate straight guy is called a metrosexual, pronounced MET-RO-SEX-U-AL, and does not rhyme with heterosexual. Skin pigmentation does not wash off with a good scrubbing; the last people who could legitimately claim innocent ignorance we're Newfoundlanders in the 40's, and that's because outports we're essentially on the edge of the world ( as parts of Newfoundland still are today).

Also, you're going to need to stop being so loud about your Italian heritage. Holy shit, it's annoying.

Blow

2008-08-28T18:12:00.000-07:00

Just a quick nerd moment. A while ago, I found myself with a .tar.gz file and a Windows XP machine with no WinZip, a frustrating issue. The only freeware solution I found that did not come riddled with viruses was SimplyZip, manufactured by a German fellow. As recognition, his graphic is below. I heartily recommend a browsing of his site, where ever it is.

Badgering Badgers

2008-08-23T10:05:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if this is elsewhere, I can't tell right now.

People who declare themselves politically incorrect bug me, if just because you don't have to dig deep to turn over the hypocrisy. Diplomacy, or at the very least being polite, isn't a sign of being dominated by the liberal elite. I think I've worked out a way of fixing it though.

Next time you meet someone you insists on calling a chink a chink, no matter what them latte-sippers say, tell them God is a useless sadistic cunt that would rather see it's children suffer and die then lift a finger to help. They'll probably punch you in the face for being such an asshole. At this point, you may laugh at them.

Or light them on fire. I REALLY hate people incapable of introspection. The man once said "The unexamined life isn't worth living" and I choose to take that literally.