Random Stuff Stuck In Head

If providence can be found in the fall of a sparrow, can God be found in the ashes? I sure as hell can't see it in the good things, maybe the lord exists in our tragedies only.

I think they want it to end. No one cares much right now.

TVs gone all weird.

Brightness

It's too bright anymore. The light's the same at 3 AM as it is at 3 PM. Can't sleep much anymore. The caffiene doesn't help much either, and the sugar is making me tense.

I should really stop updating; too many people know about this place.

Ever hear of a cargo cult? The official ones exist in the south Pacific, just waiting for the Army to bring back refridgerators and planes. They've made artificial airstrips so the planes feel welcome and bring good things.

I wonder if Judas and Jesus met in Hell. I'll bet it was awkward.

I need more bacteria.

We need another good flu, not as bad as 1918, just enough to thin out the sick and elderly, get rid of the good ol' boys. We may get lynching out of the living memory early just yet.

Current

I know things have been fucked up for a while. I've been able to hear the voltage going up and down my neck for a while but now my energy's all gone to hell too. Even those damn quakes are getting more severe.

On the other hand, I think I know why the people around me consider the Anti-Christ. I lash out at the people around me because I know they wouldn't pay any attention to me other than when I'm threatening to wear their skin like a trenchcoat. Except for my pseudo-psychotic behaviour, I'm like a human-shaped void in the air. By god, I'm sick of it. The people around me abuse women and smoke pot like a bush fire on the plains, and they get to fuck loose women and not give a shit about anything until they're in prison! What the fuck is the point of trying to be anything when I've gone totally fucking invisible to the people around me!?

Man, fuck these anti-depressants. I should have blown my brains out when I had the chance.

Yodeling

They don't need people to burn down the local pot farm, it seems. What a bummer.
At least the local whiskey is still good and cidery. It also turns out dial-up isn't nearly as infuriating as I thought it would be after living on cable. I guess as long as I keep a good stockpile of pornography, it's not as necessary.

It is nice to not hear either my roommates or strange static-y voices in the half silence of the basement, but now I'm getting strange dreams where I'm on a chain gang being attacked by the Japanese army, before being place in an alien suburb for their amusement. I think it means that I'm impotent as a person. Or that I saw Cool Hand Luke a couple days ago. One or the other really.

I'm tired of animals damnit. I need to meet people.

Nature

I take it for granted that people are essentially animals with some self-consciousness. I just wish some more members of the species would acknowledge this and not act like that from whence they came, just satisfying whatever urge happens to strike them at the time, living totally in the present. We're we not meant to achieve something better? Or should we accept that as no more than animated meat, we have nothing better to gain than pleasure, with no real reason to try and be something else, something that thinks?
I'm not really sure. The animals do seem to sleep a little better.
All thinkings given me is some deep seated complexes.

While trying to relate an anecdote, someone asked me if I thought homophobes we're insane in a really accusatory way. I suppose I should have made a retort about how their not insane, just bigoted, but I'm not in the habit of challenging people twice my age who are fresh out of the military. That said, computer techs have a real ego issue. They're taking out on the world what got dropped on them in high school. But then, it could be said I'm doing the same thing.

They say leaving a kid alone young in life will affect their mental health. I wonder if that applies to not knowing any other kids until you're five.

Sigh

There's nobody quite like the member of an HR department for making you feel like a worthless pile of shit.
what do you mean you won't work siberia? don't you want to work here?

Buggy

Dear spammers:
My penis, although not as large as it could be, does not need unlicensed medicinal help. I'm also not signed up to any dating sites, so the women of loose morals must be mistaken in emailing me.
Besides, my credit limit is rather pathetic.
Also, I don't give a whistling shit about Nigeria or their bank accounts. You backed the wrong king/revolution/warlord/banker/minority group, tough.
I could use more fetish porn though. That's always good.

UP!

In my humble opinion, Aphex Twin's "Come to Daddy" is better for blasting people out of bed at 8 in the morning than Daft Punk's "Human After All".

Quiet Moment

I've really made a botch out of things.
Everything smells like cheap perfume.

Ha Ha!

You do not need grain alcohol for a good time!
*falls over*
Avenged Sevenfold is a Christian band!

Motives

For each action, two reasons can be ascribed to it: an altruistic reason and a selfish reason. The problem is figuring out which one motivated an action. did you do that out of kindness? Is it because you need to think you're a good person so you can sleep tonight and live with yourself? Go figure it out.

Evening

It's really dark. Too hot here too. Something needs to die.

Cold

Everythings buried and frozen. It has it's positives and negatives. Good environment to learn about printers in, at least. Neighbours can't understand why I'd shovel without a car though. They're probably right. Good to get it done though.

Shameless Rip

I just read this over at Metafilter. It has it's rebuttals, but I think it really gets to the heart of the matter:
I'm not sure people understand that the war on drugs was a battle to defend corporate productivity.

The United States doesn't actually manufacture much besides foodstuffs, IP, and companies. The first has competition, the second is unprotectable, so the third is the only real asset class that we generate. The ability to complete large scale organized projects requires significant numbers of people to work in concert towards a goal.

The war on drugs was an attempt to make sure that the corporate drones didn't go functionally insane. This, by the way, is why the whole family thing is really pushed in the corporate model -- gives people a deep desire for stability. Anyone can adapt their own income requirements for a time, but once you have a family, your risk tolerance collapses.

Drugs directly reduced long term viability of expensively trained resources, and put the stabilizing force of family at risk. Defending that is actually why $1B a week is being spent.

Now, we can argue all day about whether it's worth the money, or whether it's been a success. But it's worth pointing out why it's all really happening in the first place.

(Side note: Seriously, you have to look at economics to comprehend some of this stuff. Why is every industrialized nation slowly phasing out tobacco? Medical expenses.)
posted by effugas at 5:49 PM on December 1

I think they really have a point.

Business Oppurtunity

Someday, I'll record a Christmas music CD. However, none of the songs will be performed in a way that could be considered smug, over-sentimental, or chirpy.

With this unique recipe, I'm sure to make a fortune.