Brain Shot

What is the difference between a sociopath and a normal person, except that the subtlety of mind has been stripped? All relationships all of us have with other people are not based on spiritual or divine connections, but merely that we find their presence enjoyable or at least useful. With the sociopath, this is made extremely obvious, not created anew.

But then, all human activity seems to stem from observing and believing in the non-existent subtleties.

Muzak

SWEAR TO GOD, I'M GONNA CUT 'EM DOWN

On Stereotypical Christians

This is probably offensive, but on the off chance stereotypes read this after browsing the various born again stuff:

You might as well let your kids deal with heathens in everyday life, even if it threatens their belief. If thousands of years of counter-evidence and the basic savagery of man can break one's faith, it wasn't very strong in the first place. If the Da Vinci Code can break your faith, than seriously, pick something else, popular culture shouldn't be a test.

And now a passage from Matthew 6:

1"Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. 2"So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 3But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
5"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 6But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

Simple enough, really. Also:

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

That is often forgotten, it seems. Oh well. OK, I'm done being combative. Just a bit tired of it all. So depressing.
There, I can quote things too.

Scientific Progress

Why don't more people have goats? They have teats you can squeeze for milk!

1 melatonin pill has an average dose of 3 mg. 1 tablet helps to signal your body to go to sleep, as it is produced by the brain in anticipation of upcoming sleep periods. 2 will make you sleep more heavily, and you will awake with tired muscles. 6 will put your muscles to sleep, leaving you with a gentle numbness until morning.
Also, slightly rapid heart beat.

It is theorized 18 will cause psychotropic effects. I have yet to test. Later, on SCIENCE.

Suspicions

I currently have what I believe are instant coffee crystals. I bought them from a dollar store so that if I ever was in the mood to sweat profusely then crash, I would have the option, and so would guests. I have noticed though, that no where on the bottle is the word "coffee". It is entirely possible I am drinking crystallized goat crap.

Tastes like it, anyways.

And I Wonder, Still I Wonder...

The liver is a miraculous organ. It filters the poisons of everyday life out of the blood, allowing us to live; it regrows with such energy a liver sliced in two will grow into two livers, and it can be trained or grown to accept new functions, like creating insulin.

So why is the culturally accepted way of getting fucked up involve breaking it?

It's All Magnets

Three things seem to be irresistibly attracted to me: car traffic, people with autism, and menstrual blood. Someday I will figure out the connection and prevent any of them from seeking me out. At least, within reason.

The older generation has lost all their patience as a result of the digital age. Children now wait longer than there parents for even movies to start. I guess they we're promised speed.

Learned

I remember once I had to get rid of a spider in a shared shower room.
About 20 people we're crowded around the bathroom. I picked up the spider from the ceiling and took it outside. They all backed up and opened the door for me. They couldn't understand why I didn't kill it. I can't understand wanting to get your hands in guts.

One time I picked up a garder snake; it shit on me. I still pick up snakes. I think I broke an instinct or something.

Chem

Turns out white people really do fear black people. Don't know why, I guess I'm just not watching the right TV shows.

Maybe it's because I was never exposed to them when I was young. But that doesn't make sense either. Most of the people back home never met Jews either, but they really seem to hate them.

Frigging grandparents.

Another Helpful Tip!

If it feels like your teeth are cutting into your tongue, all you need to do is brush your teeth! Repeat every couple days to avoid discomfort.

Observation

It's worth noting that when someone mentions they play Guitar Hero, guitar players don't have to feel insulted. They don't think they can play guitar, nor should they pick up a real one instead. They just like play it for fun.
who'll stop the rain?
I want a big cudgel, so I can hurt people. Still, I wonder.

*

There's no use pining for the good ol' days, remember that. People just don't remember or didn't notice the problems. People we're just as lazy.
So stop with it ok?
Turns out that talking about German shit porn will make people with Asperger's leave you alone. This sounds cruel, but 20 minutes talking about CIDR hurts me too.

Faller

If you can deal with the fact that no one really cares, you can finally do some stuff that you once considered embarrassing. It's a trade-off: We are alone in this world, but you can fill your house with marshmallows.

Children

My upstairs neighbours' have a friend with a baby. They alternate between cooing at it and screaming at it. I think the kid is going to grow up to be a twat. I hope it at least gets some sense. That would be nice.
What the hell happened? Why are 5 year olds telling people to fuck off?

Clinic

When something happens, it starts out beyond words. It's all just there and is about experience and emotion. In trying to understand and describe something it, it is changed. These visceral things are transformed to words and phrases, and loses the immediacy. Eventually it becomes just those words, and from there, into dust. Such is everything, such is fate. Oh well. How else could we deal with it?

Warning Signs

I've been writing swear words on to the newspaper taped to the ceiling, i'm drunk, and my upstairs neighbours are having another orgy. I think I'm losing it.

Rip

I swear to god I'm going to tear someone apart one of these days. Just cut them open and see what they look like on the inside. I'm so tired of them hiding from me. Flocking through me. I will teach them to look around them when they walk.

They won't walk into each other anymore.

Relax

Insignificant though it is, I feel so much clearer getting the crazy out here. I think I can leave it alone for a while now. This doesn't feel like a bubble period. Maybe in a month or so, I'll need to vent again. Hard to say.

Distressing

Hmmm.
It happens, I guess.