Itchy

I think they enjoy the back and forth, the tension. They'd feel like it was lying down and boring if they had a functional relationship. Or the sex is really good. God knows.

Can't afford another night out. Too bad. Good times despite itself. Except it's so blasted cold. Need a dedicated driver. Badly.

No one is here except us and our metals. And even they wear out.

Fire Engine Chrome

It's nights like this one that brought me too it. Another good opportunity lost to a misunderstanding. What I forgot was the sensitivity, like everything else. Right on top now, and it's not horrible. The day was bad, but this doesn't just melt it but atomize it. It's all gone.

I know it's just branches, but getting a shovel is hard right now. And I could be part of that awkward conversation while the cubes are made.

No more booze though. I don't think that was a good idea.

Patterns

I think it's in the wallpaper mostly. It's sad that dice don't roll for some people, but I guess that's just how it goes. The novelty has worn off of being a sheeple though, just because I don't wear mascara doesn't mean I don't know. I just don't care.

I suppose it's preferable, I'm just not sure how.

Gas Mask

Oh God I hate body spray. Someone vomited outside and laid down a thick coat of the stuff nearby. Now my eyes burn.

Good distraction though, now I've stopped thinking of castrated people in boxes. Damn movies rotting my brains.
good though

A Gentle Knocking

Just against the wall, a slow rhythm. Something's happening. I wonder who it's for. Stupid grass, so damn finicky.

I know it's mostly my fault. Bombing through dark suburbs at night because I can't stand being seen by those people isn't a healthy impulse. Neither is avoiding people you sort of know because they won't stop crying and wailing about life's injustices. Or maybe it is, I don't know. Which is the point, I guess; I don't know where social standards stop and begin.

I do know I feel like hitting people with no damn perspective.
"Waah, I'm being kicked out because I'm emotionally abusive to other tenants and have a narcissistic streak a mile wide! No, wait, it because my girlfriend is bitch. That's it. Woo, nearly had to think about that, there."
i just want to hurt them all, blood everywhere, flesh
It's confidence, I guess. To know that you're right and strong is attractive. Too bad restraint isn't nearly as useful.
hanging off in useless strips, taste it

Verbosity

I find myself at a common place: the desire to talk but no real target. That's the whole point of this blog, not to inform but to stew quietly so I don't drive others mad. Perhaps that's the problem. Others are perfectly willing to drown me in World of Warcraft statistics until the letters "D", "P", and "S" lose all meaning, but unwilling to try and hash out my stupid, petty little obsessions because there's no way to grind Confused Ideology 101.

Mostly, I think it's the calmness. Most talking seems so emotional now. I just don't care enough. A while ago I watched a grown adult break down crying because a doctor misspoke some advice and immediately corrected himself, because obviously making a mistake means he doesn't care. Course, she yearned for the days of midwives in the salt of Poland, so whatever. They paint the cows blue to show a woman for marrying, you know.

This weekend was a fine example. Lots of screwed up things going on, but everyone is calm, and it's working out, instead of getting all chewed up by angry people.

Maybe it's just the hissing I don't like. The words come out all sharp when people are angry, screws things up. I can hear it through the walls.

We all need villains and fools, just ask the British.

Small Talk

I guess it was rude. You're just never calm. Sometimes, I need quiet time to think out loud and eat beef jerky, and these weird tiffs you guys have aren't conductive to not being tweaked out.

Probably would have helped if I didn't hear. I try to sit and mind my own business, but no, everyone has to hear it. If only I didn't need citations.
viruses and flies we aren't special and the great dice roll sixes eventually